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I hate gardening

Meh :(

So why am I so wound up about gardening?

After my parents passed away four years ago, I inherited a fairly large garden with a greenhouse where they used to grow tomatoes and stuff.


During the first year I had some help hired. I was paying him £500 per month to drop by every day and do gardening things. I don’t know what needs to be done – I’ve never got my hands dirty with such crap – and trusted that he knew what to do.


At the end of the season – guess what. I got like two buckets of tomatoes (70 pounds or so), a bag of cucumbers, some eggplants and a few apples. He said that “it wasn’t a good year” and that it was all he could get out of the garden. In the past, we were getting like one ton of tomatoes per season. You get the difference.


I immediately assumed that he was gaming me. I told it to his face, then said I no longer needed his services.


I no longer bother with that garden. It’s obvious that, since I don’t have the time to take care of it and don’t know what needs to be done, some fucker that I will hire will steal all the crops and tell me that it didn’t rain that year, or some other retarded excuse.


What bothers me is that the relatives are already judging me and talking behind my back. I never got along with most of them, because I never liked people who didn’t mind their own business, and have never hesitated to tell it to their faces. But this time I’ve heard things that you wouldn’t imagine.


  • “I’m lazy and don’t want to work the garden.” Well, fuck me, I have a damn good job which takes me 12 hours or so a day, 5-6 days a week. I really don’t have the time for agriculture, and don’t see the point in even doing it. I see no point in busting my arse many hours every week, just get vegetables worth £3,000 at the end of the year. I value my time a lot more than that. On the flip side, I doubt any of those arseholes have worked 70+ hour weeks for many years in a row, so they really shouldn’t be talking about laziness.


  • “I sit around on my arse at the desk all day, then I always complain that I’m tired. That’s not real work.” This really left me speechless. Then I figured out that the arseholes who said it are old farts who think of computers – that is, if they’ve even seen one yet – as Facebook machines, because that’s what their equally dumb kids/grandkids use one for. Real work, for them, is unskilled labor, and us white collars are just the arseholes who are getting rich on their backs.


  • “My father would have wanted me to work in the garden.” If I ever get this told to my face, I swear to God I’ll bite that fucker’s nose off. Nobody has the right to assume what my late parents would’ve wanted. Yes, he used to say that gardening soothed and relaxed him, so that’s why he liked it. He was also grown on a farm, and he had gardening in his blood. I’m a city boy, with a completely different set of values.


I tried not to get affected by this bunch of crap, but sooner or later it might get to me.


I’d be interested in a barter deal with one of the locals, where they get to work the garden and I get to keep a share of the crops. But it’s hard to find reliable workers.


Selling it is also an option. I remember dad paid something like £10,000 for the greenhouse alone in 2006, and he bought it from the guys who sell these green houses. I don’t think I’ll be selling it any time soon because:

  • I don’t really need the money. I’m doing well financially, so 100,000ish pounds won’t do any good. I don’t have any urgent investment plans. And real estate prices in the UK are still at an all-time low, so if I keep it for a few more years then I might get some better rate.
  • I don’t want the relatives to start gossiping that I had been looking forward for my parents to die to start selling their properties.


On the other hand, if I don’t do something with it, the garden will probably deteriorate soon. The soil is probably already wrecked, since no one has grown anything onto it in three years, and the greenhouse isn’t probably doing that well either. I hope the metallic frame didn’t get hit by rust, and that the windows are still there.


The best option would be to find a company who is willing to take care of it. I would so much sleep better at night if I knew that I had a contract signed with them – it’s somewhat harder to get screwed when you have some legal agreement in place. Unfortunately there aren’t other larger gardens in the area – at least not in that village – and I doubt a company would be willing to have their workers commute for many miles, at least not without charging me an arm and a leg. And, while I do want somebody to use it, I don’t want to end up paying more than it earns me back.


I’ve heard the guys from South West Greenhouses (the guys from whom dad bought the greenhouse) also do some counseling regarding agricultural/gardening stuff. I believe I’ll give them a call and ask for a piece of advice.